Will I Tip You? Bad Service

Dear Service Industry Workers,

My tip is proportional to the service I receive. So, do you want to know why I don't tip you as much as you expect?

Probably because you:

• Ignore me when I arrive at your place of work.
• Drag your eyes away from your computer/laptop/cell phone/the TV when I say "Hi".
• Stare at me like I've walked out a block of mouldy cheese when I ask if you're going to be able to help me.
• Carry on taking your clearly personal phone call even though I've just walked through the door, then hang up with a sigh and an "I'll call you later" when I stand directly in front of you and you are unable to pretend I don't exist any more.
• Mumble sweet nothings into the air around you while you "help" me with a perfectly reasonable request like "Please may I have some cream".
• When something is taking a long time, you think that it will go away by ignoring it and by not telling anyone why, exactly, it takes so long for you to swipe my card at the machine.
• I leave your establishment thinking: "Oh my word - I'm glad I'm out of there and don't have to interact with that person again".

Don't expect a tip if I feel that you're sleeping
on the job...