The 7 Deadly Sins of Falling in Like: Sympathy

The first of the 7 Deadly Sins can be found below. If you would like to see the introduction to these sins, click here and then continue reading below. I've added a few of my own comments in italics.

Sympathy

By this point we've all been hurt before, if not then you haven’t tried hard enough. We might even be sad about something legitimate, so few of us have all our ducks in a row. However tough it is though, appealing to someone new, a person who you've fallen in like with, for sympathy is dangerous. It is the wrong place to look, and in the end is a very humanising thing at a time when we have to be superhuman. Discipline should be spent on being a rock, albeit a funny, intelligent, charming and amazing one. 

Especially when meeting someone who is in a strange place themselves (being in like is a strange place sometimes) this is such an opportunity to be gracious, but not blasé. Grace, now that I finally begin to understand what it actually is, is one of the most amazing and truly heroic qualities to have. A part of it is the ability to understand someone’s needs, and happily put them before your own. 

Gaining sympathy of the one you like is comparable to fighting the world with a long-standing partner. Fighting the world together is something that must be earned. It is a perk of a relationship which has to be discovered together. Instead of appealing for sympathy from the one you like, instead battle through your condition bravely, accept where the other person is at and give them everything they need, while hoping, but not expecting, that they will slowly give you little bit by bit in return. It is meaningless and frustrating when people say you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. This task is baffling, the path unclear, and the goal borderline impossible. What they really are trying to say is that it is only when we've learnt to rely on ourselves for getting through, that others will begin to see that strength and gravitate toward it.

"I'm a little more guarded...I guess it's because...I've been hurt before..."
Sean Colfax - Fired Up